How Can I Love Me More?

My Comfort Zone My comfort zone is      Safe,      Warm, encompassingly so,      Alone but not lonely,      Where my precious things are stored. But I don't grow there. Growth happens when I       Explore unsafe spaces, real and imagined,      Struggle to fight off the cold from all sides,      Try to stand tall in the harsh and judgmental spotlight,      Stand alone in the crowd, showing what I have to give to any who will       receive,       Seek new treasures to add to my store.

People are more comfortable with old problems than new solutions.                                                    John Maxwell Why is it so hard to let go and try something new?  Perhaps because if this issue is resolved or that set of problems is solved, the next ones will be harder. What if the solution I choose is not the right one and I make things worse? Maybe solving the problem will mean admitting I was wrong in some respect. Why not just leave it in the hands of God? Is it because I might not like His answer or solution?  Where is the trust I claim to have in Him? What good is my hope when it is hung on my own unreliable knowledge? 

Tomorrow,  I get to welcome a new co-worker.  I'm excited and anxious.  I will be her mentor and yet, I know I will learn a lot from her.  She has strength in areas where I am weak, and for this I am thankful. 

It's amazing how quickly a connection and bond can form between people. I've been blest to have many such experiences over the years. The most recent one is a coworker, and in the short amount of time that we've known each other, when I think about the future, I can't I imagine it without her friendship. I suppose it's possible that our paths have crossed in the past, but clearly now was the time for us to meet. I'm thankful for what she brings to my life and how natural and comfortable our interactions are. Recently, in the course of what seems at times to be a therapy session of sorts as we share scenarios and discuss potential ways to better handle difficult situations, she related to me some details of a work-related visit to a client. There were some unfortunate and potentially frustrating circumstances involved, and while considering how to proceed, her thought was, "How can I love this person more?".

Sometimes I feel like I could and should be doing things better. Then recently, my thoughts took another direction: What if I am actually doing the best I can and it's not good enough?

Today, I'm taking another step in my journey to love myself more.